DR. Citron

I made it to work today and I seem to be functioning! I had my appointment with Dr. Citron. He is usually running on time so I can go on my lunch. He congratulated me on finishing the treatment. It was actually pretty difficult. I am still fighting off side effects. He said my counts are pretty low and that I need to take iron (again).

He is sending me to an opthamologist because of a weird side effect that I had. I got this blue flashing light in my right eye. It kind of looked like how your eye responds when you look at a bright light. The only problem is that I didn't look at a bright light. It was blue and flickering and took up almost the whole field of vision in my right eye. If I closed my eye it was still there. It lasted a few hours but then went away and it hasn't come back. Dr. Citron said it could be from the taxotere but it is certainly not a common side effect. It could also be a migraine, even without a bad headache. (I didn't know you can have migraines without bad headaches. He says yes.) It could be something completely different so he wants me to get my eye checked to rule that out. My guess is that it is from the chemo. Taxotere has tons of neuro side effects and I seem to have gotten them all.

My knees and elbows are pretty swollen. He thinks it should go down soon. My right elbow is particularly bad. I am having trouble picking things up. If I have a small soda I am ok but if I have a large I need two hands to hold it. I can't pick a large soda up with just my right hand. He thinks it should resolve soon. I hope so because I am going to need to carry things in the airport on Thursday.

I had a small lump under my right breast. He checked that and said it was scar tissue from the reconstruction. That was a load off. He said the cancer is very unlikely to recur while it is actively being treated. He said that is why so many people get very depressed when their chemotherapy ends. I am not depressed that chemo is over. I am thrilled and I will be even happier when I start feeling better. I have herceptin until December and I am unlikely to recur while that is ongoing too. Maybe when that is over I will get depressed, but somehow I doubt it. I just want my life back.

I don't have to see Dr. Citron again for 3 months. I have to get the herceptin every three weeks. I also have to go for another MUGA scan in April. They have to make sure the herceptin is not effecting my heart. My MUGA scans have been great so far.

Thanks everyone for all the support. I could not have gotten through this without everyone's help. And, I still have a full head of hair!!!!!!!

DR. Citron

Do not knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run like hell. He hates that.


I went to Dr. Citron today.I was able to go on my lunch break. My white count is good. My red blood cells, hemoglobin and hematocrit are pretty bad. I had an idea that this was the case. My blood pressure is also very low.

I have been having the side effects but they are not as profound this time as they were last time. I still have facial twitching, stomach pain, GI disturbances, numbness in hands and feet, achiness, pain in joints, bleeding from nose, mouth and rest of GI tract. They are all there but less intense than last time. I realized why that is. He lowered the dose! I forgot. So its not as bad. For instance, I still have stomach pain but I am not curled up in a ball and unable to move because of it. I can carry on. Very good. Dr. Citron was surprised that I am working, especially when he saw the blood counts. He said this is a terrible chemo regimen and I have been bombarded by very high doses of it. I must say that it has been much harder then I thought it would be. I rarely say that about anything.

He asked how I was feeling and my answer was "better than yesterday." I also figure, not as good as tomorrow. I know it will now keep getting better until we do it all again. But that will be the last time!! The days are getting warmer, spring is coming and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.