Halloween

Julianna in her ladybug costume
All dressed up

Fancy

Cute as a bug!

Nice!

I was so happy that I got Julianna such a great costume. Then when the day came I could only take her to two houses. It was so disappointing. She looked so cute and she was so excited. I just couldn't do it. Some of my friends took her to a few more places. I am hoping that I am feeling better later in the week and I will take her up to my work and to Grandma and Pop-pop's for some pictures. I am hoping things start looking up soon.

Post op

So far this is the worst surgery of all of them. I am questioning why I decided to reconstruct at all. There is nothing that helps the pain and I have tried them all. If anyone has any iv pain meds please stop by. I think taking Julianna around in her costume tomorrow is not going to happen. Right now I can't even take a halfway deep breath so a walk is out of the question.
please keep your fingers crossed that this turns around soon,

Home from Surgery

Mary Ellen called me, sounding pretty good, and asked me to post. She is home from today's surgery, but she is in a lot of pain. Cathy is with her. She will post more tomorrow when she feels up to it. Love, Kathleen

Off to Surgery

Stay on the streets of this town and they'll be carving you up alright.

Bruce

Cathy is here and we are off to the hospital. If all goes well I will be home tonight. Keep your fingers crossed.

Today - Pictures

My Mom, Passed away in 1981 at age 44

Julianna trying to put flowers on my Mom's grave

Julianna trying to carry the flowers and her ducks

Julianna not understanding that you are supposed to put the flowers on the grave, not your whole self.

Julianna

My Mom

Today is the 28th anniversary of my Mother's death. We always thought she died of multiple myeloma. After I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost every doctor I saw said that is highly unlikely. They said women of that age really don't get that. They asked where her primary bone sites were. When I tell them it was her arm and her neck they just shake their heads. They all say that it is much more likely that it was breast cancer that went to her bones. Which is, of course, where breast cancer goes.



I have a strong memory of her having a lump in her breast. I was about 14 or 15. She went to her OB/Gyn and he told her it was a clogged milk duct. She was so happy when she heard that because it eased her mind. She had nothing to worry about. She was dead a few years later. She never had a chance.



Things have changed a lot in 28 years. Treatment has progressed so much. I don't think a doctor would sent anyone with a suspicious lump away with no further checking. When I went I had a needle biopsy, mammogram, sonogram and core biopsy within a week. I don't think there was too much they could do back then to save you anyway, but I wish she would have had a shot.



So, I am not positive she died of breast cancer but I am 90% sure. This is from what all the doctors said plus research I did about both things. Her disease really did progress like untreated breast cancer. It also follows the timeline. It often occurs about two years after a pregnancy. It also takes about 7 or 8 years to kill you if you do nothing. My brother Richard, the baby, was 10 when she died.



This is interesting because up until I was diagnosed it never occurred to me that I had any increased risk. My Grandmother had it but she was over 70 when she was diagnosed. They say that isn't an increased risk for others. My first cousin also had it but she always thought her risk was from her Dad's side. She is BRCA+ and I am not, so maybe that is true.



Julianna and I went to the cemetery today. I was trying to get her to put flowers on my Mom's grave but she really didn't want to cooperate. First she took all the petals off one flower. Then she sat on the grave marker. After that she tried to take all the flowers off the other graves. Finally we got the flowers on there. RIP Mom.

MUGA scan

Today I went for my MUGA scan. (Multi gated acquisition scan) It is a nuclear medicine scan used to evaluate the function of the heart ventricles. I had this test to determine a baseline of my heart function. The reason for this is that the herceptin I will be taking can cause damage to the heart.

When I got there they took me in pretty quickly. The doctor gave me an intravenous injection of tin (stannous ions). I then had to go back to the waiting room and wait half an hour. They then called me back and gave me another intravenous injection of a radioactive substance (technetium-99m-pertechnetate). The technetium labels the red blood cells and the stannous ions keep the technetium from leaking out of the blood cells and dilutes it somewhat. She was actually pretty good at hitting my veins and I would like to bring her along to wherever the next place will be.

Next, I had to lie down on a skinny table and it moved into a cylindrical device which was a gamma camera. It can detect the gamma radiation given off by the technetium. They moved the table up and moved plates down over me at different angles. They came very close. It made me think that it must be how a bug feels just before it is squished by a shoe.

They did three series of pictures, each at a different angle. Each set took about seven minutes and in between she changed the angles of the plates. The hardest part for me was that I had to keep my arms above my head. That was not so bad for a few minutes but it got more painful as time went on.

The test is supposed to give a series of images of the heart, one at each stage of the cardiac cycle. The images show the blood pool in the heart and a computer is used to calculate the ejection fraction of the heart. Ejection fraction is the fraction of blood pumped out of a ventricle with each heartbeat. The normal value is between 50 and 80. If my ejection fraction should decrease during treatment with herceptin it means that it is damaging my heart. The damage sometimes repairs itself when herceptin is discontinued. Of course I did not get any results. They always make you wait. I will need to get these scans a lot of times during the year I get herceptin and at the completion of treatment.

As I was walking out she asked if I got my bone scan yet. I told her I had it and they said it was fine. As I got in my car I started thinking. Why did she ask that? Did she see something on my sternum? Can she even see anything like that on this scan? Is it in my bones now even though it wasn't six weeks ago? I realize I have to chill. I guess when you have this you always worry. I know I will. I don't know when I will stop worrying. I wish I could start the chemo right away. Tonight would work for me. Unfortunately it won't be for a few weeks. I need to know I am doing everything.

So, again I have to flush twice due to radioactivity. Also, my dog Smudge loves toilet water and I have to make sure he can't get near it. He learned that bad habit at my neighbor's house. I don't want him to glow, even if I will soon.