Pictures

Pop-pop, Julianna, Grandma Betty and me. Taken 10-5-2009.

Julianna and her Momma, 10-5-2009


At Bruce Springsteen 10-8-2009

Waiting for surgery. 10-9-2009. Nice jiffy pop hat.

Kathleen waiting for surgery

Home - Slow Recovery

I am home. That is great but this is going pretty slowly. My underarms and hands are especially painful. My hands are really bad because they missed so many times trying to get the arterial blood gases and the arterial line. They are black, brown and green from my hands to just above the elbows. It is hard to eat or turn pages of a book, or type. I think the underarm pain is from the removal of the lymph node on each side. Everything else hurts but is getting a bit better. It is upsetting that I really can't do anything for Julianna. I am thrilled and very thankful that I have so many great people to help. My friend Jessica has Julianna right now. My friend Cathy took my dog Smudge on a hike today and slept here last night to listen for Julianna and me.

Thanks to everyone for the food, visits, calls, cards, babysitting and good thoughts. It makes me know that despite everything I am very blessed.

Final Pathology

I realized I never posted about the final pathology report. The tumor was 17mm. The sentinel nodes were negative. The cancer is stage 1. It is ER/PR negative and Her2 positive. It will require chemotherapy. It might not be as intense a therapy as they originally thought, but that will be up to the oncologist.

Dr. Kostroff gave me the information. She is certainly one of the nicest people I have encountered throughout this ordeal. I meet a lot of surgeons through work. I have to say that a great deal of them have huge egos and the inability to relate to the patient. This is not the case with Dr. Kostroff. She is super kind and compassionate. It is nice to see that, with all her success, she didn't lose the point of the profession. Truly an excellent physician. I go back to her Monday. I am not sure when I will see Dr. Keller. Long road, short steps.

Home - Nice!!

It is nice to be home. I got to see Julianna today. She hopped up on the recliner with me. She just kept saying Momma, Momma over and over. She snuggled in with hrer blanket. I wonder what she was thinking when I never came for her. Its hard to know how their minds work. It makes me sad that even though she was with people who love her, she can't understand what is happening.

This healing process is going a lot slower than I would like. Day to day it gets better but knowing that I am going to be back to zero soon is making it a lot harder. The idea of another surgery is overwhelming to me. I hated the hospital. It was super loud, pain management was terrible. If I go back I am bringing my own tylenol and benadryl. There was a mean nurse at night with a Russian accent. Somehow a Russian accent makes people seem meaner. I think I watched too much Rocky and Bullwinkle when I was a kid.

My sister Kathleen is flying back to Oregon right now. I am sorry this trip was such a downer. We did get to go see Bruce Springsteen, and of course that was great.

Thanks to everyone for everything. You have all have been great and I am really lucky to have such great people in my life.

Home from the Hospital!!!!

Mary Ellen is out of the hospital and resting in reasonable comfort with her beloved dog Smudge by her side. Wonderful friends from work have sent a selection of delicious foods. I'm guarding her rest. I go home tomorrow. -Kathleen

Another Long Day of Discomfort

I was at the hospital all day. At first Mary Ellen was in a lot of pain and we couldn't get more pain medication. Then the nurse, Susan, who has been very gentle and helpful, called the pain management team. They came and assessed her and changed the pain medication and added back the IV Benadryl. I was glad that they were willing to listen to me that so much complaining was wildly out of charachter for her and that I saw a marked personality change which told me the pain was severe.
Mary Ellen's room is across from the office of the nursing manager and she was clearly having a very busy day investigating the series of mistakes that led up to Mary Ellen's loss of the grafted tissue. For a long time I sat in a chair outside ME's room door stopping extranneous entrances to the room, shushing people and guarding her sleep, which was so precious to her. During that time in the hallway it was evident that the staff knows a major incident occurred, and one meeting after another took place across the hall.
We had visits from quality control and other departments which came to get ME's story. I made them come back when she woke up. Dr. Kostroff came to visit. She remains distressed.
I hope to get Mary Ellen home tomorrow and settled in where she can actually sleep.
I will have to fly back to Oregon on Thursday. -Kathleen

From the Hosital - MaryEllen

So, after 20 hours of surgery I only have one breast. The whole point of doing the immediate reconstruction was to have it all over with and now its worse than ever. The first surgery was 15 hours. There was a lot of pain after. The second night I was in excruciating pain. The left breast was so hard and swollen. It was extremely discolored and the stitches were pulled almost to the point of breaking. I made numerous complaints to the nurses and the resident. I called Dr. Keller from my cell phone. No one did anything.

I told the nurse I needed some help and he said he wasn't going to wake the resident again. When the resident came in he said he thought the capillary refill looked fine. It didn't look anywhere near fine. It was obviously filling up with blood that had no where to go. It was strangulating. He just did nothing. The nurses didn't know what they were looking at.

In the morning two surgical residents were doing rounds. They looked at it, freaked out and said we had to go back to the OR. Dr. Keller came in and looked at it and said he was going to try to save it. They took me back to the OR. When I woke up it was 5 hours later. They couldn't save it. The ironic part is that it is not the breast with the cancer.

I spoke to Dr. Keller this morning. He said there were numerous errors made. He feels it could have been saved if he were notified in time. I will need at least two more surgeries.